You know the drill: the alarm blares at silly-o’clock, coffee’s brewing, and you’re itching to point the van’s nose towards Cornwall. Then—click-click-click—your leisure battery mutters nah, pal. We’ve all been there, spanner in hand, wishing we’d spent ten minutes checking things the night before.

To save you from dawn-of-departure drama, I’ve pulled together a no-nonsense, slightly cheeky road-trip safety check that covers everything from fan belts to fairy lights. Follow this guide and you’ll roll out of the drive confident your rig can handle whatever the UK’s roads (and weather) throw at it.

Under the Bonnet

Fluids & Filters

  • Engine oil – Check the dipstick when cold; top up if it’s below halfway. Dirty oil? Plan a change.
  • Coolant – Level between MIN and MAX; pink or orange sludge means it needs a flush.
  • Brake & clutch fluid – Low levels hint at worn pads or a leak.
  • Power steering / ATF – A quick top-up can stop embarrassing squeals at the campsite gate.
  • Screen wash – Cheap to fill, priceless when an HGV paints your windscreen in grime.

Belts, Hoses & Leaks

Give every rubber hose a squeeze—cracks or a marshmallow feel mean replacement. Spin the auxiliary belt; glazing or fraying is a red flag.

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Battery (Starter)

Clean terminals, snug clamps, and a voltage check with a multimeter (12.6 V+ at rest) keep gremlins at bay.

Van maintenance tip: carry a spare 10 mm spanner—90 % of battery clamps use one.

Tyres & Wheels

  • Tread depth – UK legal minimum is 1.6 mm, but aim for 3 mm for proper wet-road grip.
  • Pressures – Cold-check against the door-pillar sticker; adjust for heavy loads.
  • Sidewalls – Bulges or cracks? Swap them before they pop on the M6.
  • Wheel nuts – Torque (tightening force in Newton-metres) to spec—usually 120 Nm on a T5.
  • Spare, jack & locking-nut key – Stow them where you can reach without emptying half the van.
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Lights, Electrics & Vision

Exterior

  • Headlights (dipped & main), indicators, brake lights, reverse, fogs. Replace blown bulbs now—saves the “polite” chat with traffic police.
  • Number-plate illumination—easy to forget, but an MOT fail.

Interior & Hab

  • Leisure battery – Fully charged and holding 12.4 V+ after an hour off hook-up.
  • 12 V sockets & USBs – Test with a cheap phone charger.
  • Control-panel fuses—carry spares.

Wipers & Screen

  • Blade rubber should flex, not smear. A fresh pair costs less than a pub lunch.
  • Top up winter-rated washer fluid even in summer—it has a higher detergent content.

Inside the Hab Area

Gas & Appliances

  • Regulator & hoses – Check the expiry date. Hairline cracks? Replace.
  • Leak test – Soapy-water (a dab of washing-up liquid) round joints; bubbles = problem.
  • Fire up cooker, heater, and fridge for five minutes; better they quit on the drive than in Snowdonia.

Water & Plumbing

  • Fill the fresh tank; run each tap to purge air.
  • Inspect grey-water outlet for splits—nobody loves a stinky drip.

Comfort & Storage

  • Secure drawers with latches; a rogue frying pan becomes a missile.
  • Bedding dry and mould-free? Give it a sniff—you’ll thank me later.

Safety Essentials & Legal Bits

  • MOT certificate & insurance – In date? Keep digital copies too.
  • Breakdown cover – Europe add-on if you’re crossing the Channel.
  • First-aid kit – Replace out-of-date dressings.
  • Warning triangle & hi-vis – French law still loves them.
  • Fire extinguisher & CO alarm – Test buttons weekly; replace batteries yearly.
  • Spare bulbs & fuses – Cheap insurance.
  • Driving licence & V5C – Glovebox heroes.

(DOT rating—Department of Transportation code—on tyres shows week/year of manufacture; over six years old? Consider new boots.)

Final Pre-Flight Walk-Round

  • Doors & windows – Latch securely; check seals for leaks.
  • Roof – Solar panels, vents, awning rails: tight and rattle-free.
  • Bike rack / towbar – Bolts to spec, lights wired, and number plate visible.
  • Load height – Know it! Car-park barriers love fresh paint jobs.
  • Loose gear – Chairs, BBQ, toilet chemicals: bungee or box them.

Quick Reference Checklist 📝

  • Engine oil, coolant, brake fluid, PAS/ATF, screen wash
  • Belts, hoses, visible leaks
  • Starter battery voltage & terminals
  • Tyre tread, pressure, sidewalls, wheel-nut torque
  • All exterior lights & number-plate lamp
  • Wipers, washer fluid, windscreen chips
  • Leisure battery charge & 12 V sockets
  • Gas hoses, regulator, leak test
  • Cooker / heater / fridge test run
  • Fresh & grey-water system check
  • Fire extinguisher, CO alarm, first-aid kit
  • MOT, insurance, breakdown cover, licence, V5C
  • Spare bulbs, fuses, warning triangle, hi-vis
  • Roof fixtures, bike rack, load height noted
  • Doors, windows, interior cargo secured

(Screenshot or print this for glovebox glory.)

Conclusion

A pre-trip inspection isn’t just ticking boxes—it’s buying peace of mind and guarding the holiday fund from surprise recovery bills. Spend half an hour on this checklist and you’ll cruise past lay-bys stuffed with steam-spewing vans, smug grin intact. Got a ritual I’ve missed? Drop it in the comments or tag me on Instagram @AVanLifeThing—photos of your toolbox welcome!