In this video I’m attempting the “simple” task of taking out the bulkhead. Thwarted yet again by the battery guard 3000.
🚐 Home Again, Home Again (to the Chaos)
After a week and a half on the road for work, I returned home full of optimism, a head full of plans, and a phone full of voicemails. First mission? Ring up the local garage bloke who once told me, “If you get a new van, bring it in.” Well, I did. And bless him, he said he’d take a look at the PTO system.
Thus began the slow descent into DIY hell—also known as the continuing saga of converting my ex-British Gas van into a campervan that doesn’t make me want to scream.
Thus began the slow descent into DIY hell—also known as the continuing saga of converting my ex-British Gas van into a campervan that doesn’t make me want to scream.
⚡ Battery? What Battery?
Excitement quickly turned into a symphony of error beeps. My battery decided to shuffle off this mortal coil while I was away. And the G3000 battery saver? It did absolutely nothing—except blink at me like a smug, useless Dalek, taunting me knowingly that it was embedded deep into the psyche of my van like a parasite, a tape worm of the electronical type.
Cue me poking around under the seats like a curious squirrel, trying not to electrocute myself while jump-starting the van. I hate electrics. Honestly. They’re like clingy exes—always there, always complicated, and prone to dramatic sparks.
“Go on then, Mercedes Sprinter, show me what you’ve got. Oh… you’re alive. Terrifying, but alive.”
👨🔧 A Trip to the Garage: Actual Progress (Shocking, I Know)
I made it to RJ Body Repairs. And let me tell you, those guys were more helpful than a Swiss army knife in a zombie apocalypse.
They gave me ideas. Real ones. Like:
- Rip out the bulkhead now, not later.
- Cut it down the middle? Yeah, they’ll do that too.
For the first time in this project, I wasn’t staring at the back of the van thinking, “What fresh nonsense is this?” I had a plan. A direction. A spark of hope.
🛠️ Let the Carnage Begin
Inspired, I launched into a frenzy of destruction:
- Tracing wires that seemed to lead to Narnia.
- Discovering Darth Vader-style speaker pods (cheap ones, naturally).
- Wrestling with bolts installed by someone with a vendetta against humanity.
I even tried a bit of “very precise tape-measuring” (i.e., eyeballing it and hoping for the best).
“Why use a proper tool when you’ve got enthusiasm, brute force, and blind confidence?”
🧩 Engineering Meets Existential Crisis
Turns out, removing the bulkhead wasn’t as easy as unscrewing a few bolts and giving it a gentle nudge.
Oh no, why should anything be simple like all those other YouTubers out there who seemingly convert a van without breaking a sweat.
It was:
- Hidden screws.
- Riveted boxes.
- Live wires.
- A very real risk of flattening my expensive camera (and possibly myself).
At one point, I found myself yelling at a particularly stubborn bolt like it owed me money. Spoiler: it didn’t care.
🤯 Lessons Learned (Kinda)
So here we are:
- The bulkhead is mostly still intact.
- My wiring looks like a spaghetti monster with a grudge.
- And I’ve decided this video—yes, it was filmed—needs a Part Two.
If you’re ever thinking of buying an ex-British Gas van, just ask yourself: Do I enjoy pain? Do I enjoy swearing at bolts? Do I own twelve socket sets and still need another one?
If the answer is yes, welcome aboard.
🔚 Final Thoughts (Before It All Explodes)
Most van builds start with insulation, a layout sketch, and dreams of #vanlife. Mine started with beeping, sparks, and the crushing realisation that every cable is a trap.
So like, share, subscribe—or don’t. I’ll be here with a drill in one hand, a multimeter in the other, and the haunting sound of my own bad decisions echoing through the empty cargo space.
🙃Where You Can Find Me 🙃
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You can email me via: soffits.mossier_0b [ @ ] icloud.com
