So there I was, queued up at Dover with my van stuffed full of camping gear, practically bouncing with excitement. Then I heard someone behind me mention “alcohol testing kits” and my heart sank. Alcohol testing kits? Nobody said anything about carrying around a bloody chemistry set when I was planning this trip.

After a few road trips through France, Belgium, and Germany, I’ve learned that the difference between an amazing adventure and a €200 roadside fine usually comes down to having a plastic triangle and a hi-vis vest in the right place at the right time.

Look, I get it. You want to roll off that ferry in Calais and head straight for those Bavarian beer gardens or Portuguese beaches. But trust me on this – let’s sort out the boring legal stuff first. Not the Instagram-worthy gear, just the actual requirements that’ll keep you from having very awkward conversations with foreign police officers who don’t share your sense of humor.

France: Your European Baptism of Fire

France is like the bouncer at the European club – they’re going to check you’ve got your act together before they let you in properly.

Here’s what you actually need (not what some forum poster thinks you need):

You need hi-vis vests for everyone who might get out of the van. And I mean within arm’s reach, not buried under three layers of camping gear.

One breathalyzer kit – yeah, I know it sounds mental, but it’s still technically the law even if they don’t really enforce it anymore.

A warning triangle that you can actually find when your van breaks down in some French layby.

Headlight beam deflectors because nobody wants to blind French drivers coming the other way.

And a GB sticker – the new UK flag number plates don’t count anymore, cheers Brexit.

French police absolutely love pulling over foreign plates. Found this out the hard way outside Lille when this officer walks up to my window and goes, “Où est votre triangle, monsieur?” Thank God I had one. The Dutch guy parked next to me wasn’t so lucky – €90 for not having a hi-vis vest.

Quick tip: Those autoroute service stations sell compliance kits with everything you need. They’re expensive as hell, but still cheaper than the fines.

Germany: Where Rules Are an Art Form

Germans don’t just like rules – they’ve turned bureaucracy into performance art.

First thing you need is an Umweltplakette. It’s this little green sticker that goes on your windscreen, and without it, you literally cannot drive in most German cities. Seriously, they have cameras and everything. You can order one online before you travel from places like TÜV SÜD for €17.50, or germanemissionssticker.com for €17.95 – it’s linked to your registration and emissions standard.

You’ll also need a proper German first aid kit (has to meet DIN 13164 standards – not just any old box of plasters), hi-vis vests for everyone, a warning triangle, and winter tires if you’re there during winter months. They need to be marked with M+S or have the snowflake symbol.

“But I’m just driving through!” you might say. Doesn’t matter. That green sticker is your passport to German cities. Miss it and you’re stuffed

Switzerland: Beautiful and Expensive

Want to cut through Switzerland on your way south? Hope you’ve got deep pockets.

You need a motorway vignette – costs about €40 and lasts a whole year. They don’t do day passes or short-term options because why would they make life easy? You’ll also need the usual warning triangle and hi-vis vests.

Swiss police are like German efficiency meets French authority. That vignette isn’t a suggestion, it’s the law. And Swiss fines make everywhere else look like pocket change.

Greece: Where Logic Goes to Die

Greece is interesting. The laws exist on paper, but enforcement is… let’s call it “creative.” Depends entirely on where you are and who’s working that day.

You need a warning triangle, fire extinguisher (they’re serious about fire risk after all those summer wildfires), first aid kit, hi-vis vests, and an International Driving Permit if you’re staying longer than a month.

The fire extinguisher caught me completely off guard. Why would I need that? Then I watched a roadside barbecue nearly set half of Thessaloniki on fire when some sparks caught the dry grass. Now I wouldn’t travel without one.

Greek roads can be properly mental – narrow village streets that were built for donkeys, mountain passes with drops that’ll make your knees wobble. That warning triangle isn’t just about the law, it might actually save your life on some blind corner.

Oh, and watch out for the new van life restrictions. They’re cracking down on wild camping, so do your homework.

Spain: The Land of Two Triangles

Spain takes bureaucracy almost as seriously as they take their afternoon siestas.

Here’s the weird bit – you need TWO warning triangles. Not one, two. Plus hi-vis vests for everyone, spare bulb kit, and spare glasses if you need them for driving.

I’m not making up the two triangles thing. Spain wants you to put one behind your broken-down van and one in front. Watched the Guardia Civil fine a Dutch couple €80 for only having one triangle. The spare bulb kit thing feels like something from 1995, but Spanish police have been known to specifically check for it.

Portugal: Tolls From Hell

Portugal has incredible coastlines and the most confusing toll system in Europe. You need hi-vis vests, warning triangle, some way to pay electronic tolls, and a printed Green Card insurance certificate.

Those tolls will drive you mental. Most Portuguese highways use electronic-only systems. You can’t just rock up and pay cash like a normal human being. You need to either pre-register your vehicle online, use the EASYToll machines at borders, or buy a temporary toll device. Miss this and you’ll be posting payment slips back to Portugal for months – assuming you even get the bills before they turn into fines.

Essential Van Life Legal Requirements: Universal Kit

After being pulled over in three countries and learning expensive lessons, I’ve created the ultimate compliance box that sits behind my driver’s seat:

ItemNotes
Hi-vis vestsOne for each passenger (within easy reach)
Warning triangleTwo triangles covers you everywhere
First aid kitGerman DIN 13164 standard works everywhere
Vehicle registrationPr Original document
Insurance certificatePlus Green Card (printed)
Driving licensesAll licenses for all drivers
International Driving PermitsRequired for extended stays
GB stickerEnsure its the new style
Headlight deflectorsUnless you have LED/flat beam headlights

Van life legal requirements Country Specific Kits

FranceGermanySpainGreecePortugal
Breathalyzer kitUmweltplakette stickerTwo warning trianglesFire extinguisherElectronic toll payment
Headlight deflectorsWinter tyres (seasonal)Spare bulb kit
Spare glasses (if needed)

This kit has passed police inspections from Calais to Corfu. It’s not about being paranoid; it’s about spending your time enjoying paella instead of filling out paperwork in a police station.

The Bottom Line

Here’s the truth nobody wants to admit: most of the time, you’ll sail through borders without anyone checking if you’ve got an emergency triangle or hi-vis vest. But when they do check, you’ll be very glad you’ve got everything sorted.

Full compliance costs about €150-200 depending on where you’re going. Non-compliance can cost you hundreds per missing item, plus all the time you’ll waste dealing with it.

The whole point of van life is freedom. But that freedom comes from being prepared for the bureaucracy first. Sort your kit, check your documents, then focus on the good stuff – like deciding which Portuguese coastal town deserves a week of your time, or finding the perfect German beer garden.

Safe travels. May your journeys be long, your breakdowns be few, and may you never have to explain to a European traffic cop why you don’t have a spare bulb kit.

And if you’ve had your own run-ins with the law over missing kit, I’d love to hear about it. Makes me feel better about my own disasters!